Letters you would like to write.

[Ellanorah]

Dear Customers (there seems to be a theme starting)

I work only at the front end of the store.  I do not know wether that comes in other sizes or colours, the only way for me to find out is to call the person on the floor, in the department you just came from.  Yes the sign says customer service, but you need to use your brain and eyes and ask someone actually working in that area.

If you don't have time to wait in line, don't come shopping.  Don't get mad at me for the fact that we have no staff on the registers and the floor staff don't reply to calls for assistance in a timely manner.  You should plan your day better.  If you must go shopping, do so AFTER a scheduled appointment.  Honetsly, it will save a lot of people a lot of problems, yourself included.

Lastly, no you cannot have a refund on non-store branded items (like Playstations/DVD's/Hairdryers etc) if you do not have the reciept.  With no proof of purchase, what do you honestly think we can do about it? If you have faults with the item, please contact the manufacturer.  

You may think that we are brainless idiots simply there to do your bidding.  I am probably smarter then a large majority of you and I know what my job is and how to do it.  Please do not assume its "easy".  If you think you could do better, then apply to the store for a job.

Thankyou for shopping with us and we continue to look forward to you continued custom.
-Allison

[Stugots]

Dear everyone on the road,

Get the fuck out of my way.

Love, Stu.

Dear JT

Grow up

Love, Everyone.

[Kastil]

Can  you return non store branded wallabies?  I think this one has gout.

[Segnam]

Dear Customers (there seems to be a theme starting)

I work only at the front end of the store.  I do not know wether that comes in other sizes or colours, the only way for me to find out is to call the person on the floor, in the department you just came from.  Yes the sign says customer service, but you need to use your brain and eyes and ask someone actually working in that area.

If you don't have time to wait in line, don't come shopping.  Don't get mad at me for the fact that we have no staff on the registers and the floor staff don't reply to calls for assistance in a timely manner.  You should plan your day better.  If you must go shopping, do so AFTER a scheduled appointment.  Honetsly, it will save a lot of people a lot of problems, yourself included.

Lastly, no you cannot have a refund on non-store branded items (like Playstations/DVD's/Hairdryers etc) if you do not have the reciept.  With no proof of purchase, what do you honestly think we can do about it? If you have faults with the item, please contact the manufacturer.  

You may think that we are brainless idiots simply there to do your bidding.  I am probably smarter then a large majority of you and I know what my job is and how to do it.  Please do not assume its "easy".  If you think you could do better, then apply to the store for a job.

Thankyou for shopping with us and we continue to look forward to you continued custom.
-Allison

I feel your pain Ellanorah I really do.  And yes Kas, you would think people would be nicer in a store where there are numerous weapons with which to kill, maim, and injure. 

People as a whole are not the brightest though.  Like just tonight, someone tried to order a snowcone from my stand, when the menu was right in front of them.  Then she got pissed off at me because we didn't have snowcones.....  I wanted to tell the bitch to diaf.  Guess what I did though.  I made her wait 30 minutes to talk with my main boss, only to have him tell her she couldn't get a snowcone anywhere in the building.  I had my happy face on inside. 

On the bike thing going around, they can ride their bikes that's fine.  But don't do it if there's a sidewalk and don't do it in the middle of the damn road.  Pisses me off when they ride down the middle of the road and don't get over, then when you pass them they try giving you the WTF look.  Makes me want to run them over even more.

[Volk]

Dear Germans,
   I know you speak English, please don't make me go through 3 other languages until you admit it.
~Bryan


I have to explain this one. I went to a joust in Koenigstein, and there was a booth selling cast iron goods, including a set of d6s. I wanted to know how much they were, so I started with "sprechen zie English, bitte?" Of course, they said no, but said they spoke Czech. I, being a linguist, decided to go with a similar language and asked about Russian, in which they said they spoke, so I had to do all my dealings in that language.

Some Germans are just lazy, and once you prove you know more than just English, they'll be nicer since you aren't an ignorant American.

[Snackcakes]

Dear Germans,
   I know you speak English, please don't make me go through 3 other languages until you admit it.
~Bryan


I have to explain this one. I went to a joust in Koenigstein, and there was a booth selling cast iron goods, including a set of d6s. I wanted to know how much they were, so I started with "sprechen zie English, bitte?" Of course, they said no, but said they spoke Czech. I, being a linguist, decided to go with a similar language and asked about Russian, in which they said they spoke, so I had to do all my dealings in that language.

Some Germans are just lazy, and once you prove you know more than just English, they'll be nicer since you aren't an ignorant American.

hey volk are you a cunning linguist?











ba-dum-cha!

[Redbear8]

Dear white people,

Please quit giving me such a bad name in other ethnic communities. It is painful to be called a "honkey" or "cracker" simply because most of you fools can't dance or speak "streetenese." So I plead with you, stop wearing fanny packs and locking your doors when you drive through "that" part of town. I can assure you it's perfectly safe.


Love,
Randoru

[Garenth]

Ok forgive the rant.



Dear Customers,

No I don't have a fucking clue who you are when you say "Hey man whats up I need to order some stuff" to me over the phone.  I talk to a ton of fucking people all week long and your one lone voice does not stand out when you order from me once in a blue fucking moon. Do me a favor and write down your account number somewhere that you will actually remember what it is so when I ask for it you can find it.  If this is too difficult for your childish mind to hold onto then do me a favor and give me your fucking area code when I ask what your phone number is.  I deal with customers across the entire fucking world and I have no clue where the hell your calling from and am not going to begin to guess what the hell your area code is. Oh and in case you forgot your area code is the 3 digit number in front of your phone number, it is not the 5 digit zip code and no your zip code will not help me figure out what the hell your area code is!

I also will not do your job for you and help you figure out what price you should sell the job at and remember what you ordered last time.  You are running a business so act like it and keep track of what you order and please have a fucking clue before you order again with me. I really don't want to spend 10 minutes of my life that I will never get back waiting for you to flip through the fucking book to see what you'd like to have.  Make a list so you don't forget any thing and call ONLY when you are done with the list and ready to order.  Oh and don't call me up from your shop and ask for a price check on stuff since I know we just mailed a brand new fucking price list out to you a couple of weeks ago.  Take a moment get your head outta your ass and look at the price list, if your too fucking stupid to be able to figure out the price from the price list then you should be calling someone else cause I sure as shit can't help you out. One last thing please pay attention to who you are talking too, I write your name down write mine down.  I really don't want to try and follow your bitching and complaining about something that I have no clue about because your dumbass can't remember that it wasn't me you talked too.


Thank you,

Shane

[Bleedhoof]

Dear insureds,

I make the decisions, not you so shut the fuck up.  This is why you have insurance, to let the adults make the decisions

Love, Brian

Dear claimants,

do you really think that because our insured tapped you in a parking lot, that i am supposed to think you are injured.  Do i have "retard" on my forehead and no one told me.  This is also not the salvation army, red cross, or united way, keep your fucking hands in your pocket because i sure as shit arent putting anything in there.

sincerely, Brian

[Unnormal]

lulz you have an awesome job Brian

[Armonde]

Dear Chowdah,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iisSClrBQFg

Armonde

[Ellanorah]

Dear Idiot drivers

I concede that my car has yellow learner plates on it, this is because I am not fully licenced yet, and they are required by law.  They do not give you a right to pull out in front of me or sit on my ass because I am doing the speed limit.  If you can't see my car, then perhaps you should get your eyes tested, better yet, don't drive.  Its freakin bright yellow, not painted with paint that makes it invisible to the human eye.

Sincerely
A better driver than you any day

Dear drivers of 4 wheel drives/SUVs/pick-up trucks

Your intimidation techniques dont work on me.  If when I look in my rear-view mirror and all I can see is the huge front of your car, I will drive slower.  Sitting so close behind me, wont make me speed up.  Those advertisements about how if you drive that type of car "you are king of the road" are a complete fallicy. You are the King of Asswipes.

Driver of an eco freindly small car, who obeys speed signs.

[Kastil]

King Shit of Fuckmountain!

Dear Media,

What's with this crap about trying to make everything sound like a summer blockbuster? Super Candidate?  Super Delegate?  Thundersnow?  Seriously, that crap needs to end!  Race car in the red? I am Superfly TNT when it comes to this crap, I am a mushroom cloud lay.. you get me.  I'm going to buy a newspaper and strangle it SO HARD that the shockwaves of my hate will cause you impotence and blindness.

Thanks,
Mike

[Ellanorah]

bahahaha

I want pictures...

[Redbear8]

Dear Ella,

Your drool over Kas dripped off the screen and onto my keyboard. Please come clean it up.


thanks,
Rando