Wolverines

Don't know about you but when I find myself disliking something particularly strongly I feel like sending some message to the person responsible for my state of being just to tell them of the ire that has built within me.  I never get to send these things out mainly cus I'm too lazy to hunt up addresses but here's some letter's that I would love to send to those I hate.

Dear Bosch,
The mounting screws for your DVR's strip easier than your daughters at a Frat party.
Yours truly,
Mike

Dear Rabbit Pull,
I now know where you came up with your name.  Pulling your wire is like pulling a rabbit from a hat... full of other rabbits fucking.
Sincerely,
Mike

Dear Bicyclist,
You're not a car, GTFO.
Kthx,
M

So let's hear it, I'm sure there's things each of you would like to say to someone somewhere. Let it out.  Scream your righteos fury to the Heavens so that it may fall upon the almost deaf ears of the Internet God.

Ok have to respond to this as someone that has had rednecks play how close can I get the side mirror to the guy on the bike and seen buddies get side swiped by asshats in cars because they weren't paying attention.

Dear All motorists,

I pay my taxes too so SHARE the road!

Kthxbye

Shane

wait... your name isn't kastil?!! wtf?!11

and my letter..

Dear Tom Seeber,
         I hope your magic can save you when I set your office on fire. Have a nice day.

- Sam

Dear Turkley,

My Mom doesn't count as a cougar so stay the fuck away you pervert.

- J to the O to the E to the L

Dear Free Clinic,

Can I have the "easy Button" persciptions for the "Juggz Mom" epidemic?


KThxBye
<insert random Wolvie name here>

(someone had to go there!)

Dear compound W people,
   Please include in your warning label that your product should not be used for genital warts.
Unno

Dear heavenly bakery,
   The cake is a lie.
Unno

Dear amish,
   Grow up.
Unno

P.S. your furniture and produce are always reliable and of the highest quality.

I see both sides of this.  If its a crowded road then bikes should avoid them.  Otherwise its fine, albeit a bit annoying.

Speaking of roads.

Dear People Frightened by weather patterns,

The droplets of water forming in the sky?  Thats normal, you don't need to reduce to the speed of a one legged puppy because of it.  Now get off the road kthxbai.

Love,

Nick

Oh and here's a work one because I can

Dear Sir/Madam,

If the concept of finding the start button kicks your butt, you probably shouldn't be in the internet department of your dealership.

Thanks,

Support.

Dear tesseract,

Contemplating you is maddening, please tell my boss to give me more work so I can stop watching Carl Sagan videos.   

Dear bycicle haters,

You have forced me to start listening to The Awakening agian, not that I mind because they are the best thrash/crust band ever and they were from right here in Columbus Ohio. 

http://www.myspace.com/eternalblizzard

Dear Chowdah,

Not Funny.

- Internet

Dear customers,

Learn to fucking read.  Its not my job to tell you whats on the menu or how much it is.  Its right there, read the damn thing. 
Also, its not my problem that you left your coupon or whatever at home 2 months ago and want to use it now on the bowflex that you bought but never use you fat fuck.  Now go buy some pants that you are just going to return tomorrow since you are to stupid to buy the right size for yourself.  O, and just try to return that bat that you already took the plastic off.  We only tell you when you buy it to not take it off until you are sure its the right one PLUS there's a big orange sticker that says to not take it off.

Wow that feels great lol.

( I work for a sporting goods store and at an arena managing concessions stands )

LOL! I love this thread.

Dear customers,

There is no such thing as Battletoads for Wii. Stop calling. (Some asshole put this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9arbOT6mY50&feature=related) on Youtube and now we get 5-10 calls a week.)

-Stephen

(I work at Gamestop)

I'm surprised you didn't write "Dear Wolverines, Get off my Mom.  No, seriously."

LMAO!!!!

Wunderbar!  Segnam, you would figure people would be more polite to those who work around heavy weights and crossbows and stuff.
As for bicyclists I'm mainly talking about the ones that take up a whole car lane in downtown Minneapolis or a whole lane on roads that are 40 mph+.

Dear Customers (there seems to be a theme starting)

I work only at the front end of the store.  I do not know wether that comes in other sizes or colours, the only way for me to find out is to call the person on the floor, in the department you just came from.  Yes the sign says customer service, but you need to use your brain and eyes and ask someone actually working in that area.

If you don't have time to wait in line, don't come shopping.  Don't get mad at me for the fact that we have no staff on the registers and the floor staff don't reply to calls for assistance in a timely manner.  You should plan your day better.  If you must go shopping, do so AFTER a scheduled appointment.  Honetsly, it will save a lot of people a lot of problems, yourself included.

Lastly, no you cannot have a refund on non-store branded items (like Playstations/DVD's/Hairdryers etc) if you do not have the reciept.  With no proof of purchase, what do you honestly think we can do about it? If you have faults with the item, please contact the manufacturer.  

You may think that we are brainless idiots simply there to do your bidding.  I am probably smarter then a large majority of you and I know what my job is and how to do it.  Please do not assume its "easy".  If you think you could do better, then apply to the store for a job.

Thankyou for shopping with us and we continue to look forward to you continued custom.
-Allison

Dear everyone on the road,

Get the fuck out of my way.

Love, Stu.

Dear JT

Grow up

Love, Everyone.

Can  you return non store branded wallabies?  I think this one has gout.

I feel your pain Ellanorah I really do.  And yes Kas, you would think people would be nicer in a store where there are numerous weapons with which to kill, maim, and injure. 

People as a whole are not the brightest though.  Like just tonight, someone tried to order a snowcone from my stand, when the menu was right in front of them.  Then she got pissed off at me because we didn't have snowcones.....  I wanted to tell the bitch to diaf.  Guess what I did though.  I made her wait 30 minutes to talk with my main boss, only to have him tell her she couldn't get a snowcone anywhere in the building.  I had my happy face on inside. 

On the bike thing going around, they can ride their bikes that's fine.  But don't do it if there's a sidewalk and don't do it in the middle of the damn road.  Pisses me off when they ride down the middle of the road and don't get over, then when you pass them they try giving you the WTF look.  Makes me want to run them over even more.

Dear Germans,
   I know you speak English, please don't make me go through 3 other languages until you admit it.
~Bryan


I have to explain this one. I went to a joust in Koenigstein, and there was a booth selling cast iron goods, including a set of d6s. I wanted to know how much they were, so I started with "sprechen zie English, bitte?" Of course, they said no, but said they spoke Czech. I, being a linguist, decided to go with a similar language and asked about Russian, in which they said they spoke, so I had to do all my dealings in that language.

Some Germans are just lazy, and once you prove you know more than just English, they'll be nicer since you aren't an ignorant American.

hey volk are you a cunning linguist?











ba-dum-cha!

Dear white people,

Please quit giving me such a bad name in other ethnic communities. It is painful to be called a "honkey" or "cracker" simply because most of you fools can't dance or speak "streetenese." So I plead with you, stop wearing fanny packs and locking your doors when you drive through "that" part of town. I can assure you it's perfectly safe.


Love,
Randoru

Ok forgive the rant.



Dear Customers,

No I don't have a fucking clue who you are when you say "Hey man whats up I need to order some stuff" to me over the phone.  I talk to a ton of fucking people all week long and your one lone voice does not stand out when you order from me once in a blue fucking moon. Do me a favor and write down your account number somewhere that you will actually remember what it is so when I ask for it you can find it.  If this is too difficult for your childish mind to hold onto then do me a favor and give me your fucking area code when I ask what your phone number is.  I deal with customers across the entire fucking world and I have no clue where the hell your calling from and am not going to begin to guess what the hell your area code is. Oh and in case you forgot your area code is the 3 digit number in front of your phone number, it is not the 5 digit zip code and no your zip code will not help me figure out what the hell your area code is!

I also will not do your job for you and help you figure out what price you should sell the job at and remember what you ordered last time.  You are running a business so act like it and keep track of what you order and please have a fucking clue before you order again with me. I really don't want to spend 10 minutes of my life that I will never get back waiting for you to flip through the fucking book to see what you'd like to have.  Make a list so you don't forget any thing and call ONLY when you are done with the list and ready to order.  Oh and don't call me up from your shop and ask for a price check on stuff since I know we just mailed a brand new fucking price list out to you a couple of weeks ago.  Take a moment get your head outta your ass and look at the price list, if your too fucking stupid to be able to figure out the price from the price list then you should be calling someone else cause I sure as shit can't help you out. One last thing please pay attention to who you are talking too, I write your name down write mine down.  I really don't want to try and follow your bitching and complaining about something that I have no clue about because your dumbass can't remember that it wasn't me you talked too.


Thank you,

Shane

Dear insureds,

I make the decisions, not you so shut the fuck up.  This is why you have insurance, to let the adults make the decisions

Love, Brian

Dear claimants,

do you really think that because our insured tapped you in a parking lot, that i am supposed to think you are injured.  Do i have "retard" on my forehead and no one told me.  This is also not the salvation army, red cross, or united way, keep your fucking hands in your pocket because i sure as shit arent putting anything in there.

sincerely, Brian

lulz you have an awesome job Brian

Dear Chowdah,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iisSClrBQFg

Armonde

Dear Idiot drivers

I concede that my car has yellow learner plates on it, this is because I am not fully licenced yet, and they are required by law.  They do not give you a right to pull out in front of me or sit on my ass because I am doing the speed limit.  If you can't see my car, then perhaps you should get your eyes tested, better yet, don't drive.  Its freakin bright yellow, not painted with paint that makes it invisible to the human eye.

Sincerely
A better driver than you any day

Dear drivers of 4 wheel drives/SUVs/pick-up trucks

Your intimidation techniques dont work on me.  If when I look in my rear-view mirror and all I can see is the huge front of your car, I will drive slower.  Sitting so close behind me, wont make me speed up.  Those advertisements about how if you drive that type of car "you are king of the road" are a complete fallicy. You are the King of Asswipes.

Driver of an eco freindly small car, who obeys speed signs.

King Shit of Fuckmountain!

Dear Media,

What's with this crap about trying to make everything sound like a summer blockbuster? Super Candidate?  Super Delegate?  Thundersnow?  Seriously, that crap needs to end!  Race car in the red? I am Superfly TNT when it comes to this crap, I am a mushroom cloud lay.. you get me.  I'm going to buy a newspaper and strangle it SO HARD that the shockwaves of my hate will cause you impotence and blindness.

Thanks,
Mike

bahahaha

I want pictures...

Dear Ella,

Your drool over Kas dripped off the screen and onto my keyboard. Please come clean it up.


thanks,
Rando

Dear Rand,

My son needs a cousin, don't screw this up!!

Chris

Dear Barack Obama,

Stop being a socialist.

KTHXBAI

Hard to take a picture and strangle a newspaper with that kind of force.
P.s. Rand, Xav means you have to impregnate me so get on it!  Weird Alabama..ans.

Dear World,

Suck it.

Dear WalMart customers,

I work in electronics; no I don't know about shoes, or furnature, or clothing. I am not being racist when asking for your ID when you're trying to use your wife's credit card. I don't *have* to sell you anything, nor do i really care if you buy anything cause I get paid the same both ways, so if we don't have something in stock, it makes no difference to me if you call me "whitey" and say you're going to buy it at Best Buy or Circuit City; I really could care less.

And old people, just cause I have long hair doesn't mean I'm a "street villin/thug/punk" (true story) or any of that bullshit. I know more than any of the people I work with, and want to help you; its what I'm going to school for. Also, if you ask if we have something, the word "no" is common among many languages; learn it and stop asking me the same question 3 different ways.

<3
Matt

Hillary is more of a socialist than Barrack is, just saying.

Anyway, when it comes down to it, the choice is clear, Vote Republican.

amen brotha!

*grumble*

I just moved here so I wasn't aware of all the customs and traditions. Do i need to come up there or do you have some Vaca time?

Have love, will travel. :) 

Because the republicans have done such a great job the last 8 years, huh? The choice is clear to most of us*, little bro, and having a 72 year old that thinks that we could be in Iraq for the next 100 years in office is not part of that choice.

/flame on - I'm your sister - I automatically am fire-repellant from anything you can throw at me! :P

[yt=425,350]3gwqEneBKUs[/yt]

*at least to most of my peeps

Can we please for the love of god not start another poltical discussion/flamewar

Second.

I'm voting for Nader.

Hurray for seatbelts!

And for Jess, I think I'm the most Republican of the family, but I'm also the one in the military, so go figure. No flames here, I have a baby in my lap, and fire is dangerous.

dear whomever.

whatever.

KTHNXBAI

Dear Prudence,

Won't you come out to play1!!!!11

love,

ch0wdah

P.S. The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beatutiful, and so are you.

Chow, that was beautiful! You take your Nausicaa icon and live free!!

Dear Europe,
   Football (Soccer) is just a game, and a slow, low scoring one at that. Get over it.
~Bryan (And most of America)

Dear Gabe (our cat, not the person):

You have 3 clean litter boxes. Your water bowl is full. You have just been fed. You get way more attention than you deserve. STOP SHITTING ON THE TILE RIGHT NEXT TO THE FREAKING LITTERBOX.

Thanks,

Your people/slaves

Is it an old kitty Lil?

Volk, I concur! whole games can go without scoring. How's that entertaining?

Gabe's 8 years old, but he's been doing it for years. It's not a medical problem, it's a something is wrong with his kitty brain problem. We've tried just about everything, but it's a habit we can't break. More annoying than anything.

Dear Green Flavored maddog,

You've ruined my life.   I don't want to go back to work tomorrow. 

Dear Canada,
   You're next.
~America

retracted :)

Dear GI module final exam study materials:

Please be interesting enough for me to study you. I really should have gotten an A on the last exam, but livers are freaking boring.

Fixed

Fixed.

Dear REDnecks,

Nascar and baseball SUCK!

Thanks

Shane

Dear Shane,

YOU SUCK!

Thanks,

Rednecks

Dear REDnecks

Drive fast turn left?  Seriously?  Get some shirts with sleeves and cut the damn mullets already!

Thanks

Shane

Dear Shane,

If you're unhappy with our attire and sporting events, then why do you mimic them and know so much about them? Let it out my friend, we know you want to be one of us.

Sincerely,
Rednecks

Dear Kas,

The momma hampster ate all her babies, I lied when I told you that God made them explode because you were touching yourself.

Sorry about that.

Xav.

This is all I can think of when I read that post:

[yt=425,350]MseJEYK50rc[/yt]

I like this one better

[yt=425,350]jybGyuRYwug[/yt]

Dear REDnecks,

Just because most of my family is redneck coming from the hills of West by god Virginia doesn't mean I have to be one as well.  Now don't get me wrong I've got nothing against you, just not sure why you do it and still believe pro wrestling is a real sport!  The 90's are dead and gone let them go in peace!

Thanks

Shane

This thread is so sweet, it needs to be sticky I think.  Also.....

Dear customer,

When you buy things from the website, it says clearly on the site and on your printout that you CAN NOT return stuff to the stores.  You have to send it back to the website.  Did schools not teach people how to read back in the day or what lol?

Idiot who shouldn't even use a computer,

   When I tell you that I need to perform a wipe and reinstall on your system, then explain to you four times what that means, DO NOT call me and ask where your "Party Poker" icon is.

Thanks,
Marc

So I can touch myself now?  Thank god! You don't know how hard it is to wash or wipe your butt without touching yourself.  I've had a horrible case of diaper rash for the past 23 years.

Dear My Boss,

Get your head out of your ass, you hair smels like shit.

-Brian

Dear Gin, camel wide lights, sushi and Irish Car bombs,
You should have warned me that you would not sit well in my stomache and make be vomit all over the bushes outside my apartment complex.

-Bob

Dear PETA,
   If we weren't supposed to eat animals, God wouldn't have made them so tasty and given us guns.
~Bryan

You're not supposed to EAT cigarettes, silly! Of course you feel like crap :P

Dear Stupid lady customer

I can't give you a $10 note if I dont have any.  Stop asking, asking is not going to make one magically appear in my register drawer. I do have two $5 notes, though. I dont know what the difference is.  It's still ten dollars.  Idiot woman.

piss off.

-Allison

I am such a noob

At least it sounds like you had a good time achieving noobishness (noobvana?). Sometimes I could just kill for a beer or a margarita. Only 9 more weeks!

Dear baby girl (we're still undecided on a name):

My uterus is not a gymnasium. It's awesome that you're showing such acrobatic skill and desire for punching, kicking and dancing at such a young age, but seriously, lay off sometimes! I think that I have internal bruising.

Oh, and the alternative is NOT to squish my bladder or stomach into a miniature percentage of their former size. I'm not a newborn; I shouldn't be peeing my pants or throwing up at the slightest provocation!

Why? Because I said so!

Sincerely,

Your Mom (that's so weird to say)

Mebbe you should punch back?   

Dear IT guy at the college of social work,
        Stop spamming my inbox with stupid questions. There is this thing called the "internet" and "google" .. fucking use it. It takes me 4 min to find the answer to your question by using these items, which is more time than it takes for you string non-coherent sentences together into an email to send to me.

PS: I am going to set your office on fire.

http://justfuckinggoogleit.com/

Dear IT guy at the College of Social Work
         You fat, lazy, impotent, stupid, bastard... When your office pays me to make you an image for you to use on your staff machines and I give you this image you are supposed to use it. You are not supposed to call me to come over there and use it for you.  Get off your ass and do it yourself. I am going to set your office on fire.


Edit:


PS: Remember how I told you we would give you our ghost software for free. As long as you just got a portable HD. Yeah I know you have it you lazy fuck and you telling me that you "don't have enough time to put it together" just makes me want to shoot you. The fact that I saw it on the floor of your office and know its been there for at least 3 months. All you have to do is insert the drive into the enclosure and put in 2 screws and you are done. That's it. You have a masters in CIS and can't understand shit. I am going to set your office on fire.


Editx2:

Just and update for anyone who is reading/whatever - I took his coolmax drive and assembled and formatted it for this douche, its been in his office for at least 2-3 months, I just got this email from him...

Subject: can you let me know when the drive is done

I will com by central
I need to use the drive to backup someone esles machine.
 
-Tom

After 3 months he didn't need it, but now that I took care of it, there's a need.

Dear companies that use an automated interface,

If i wanted to talk to a machine and press numbers for different things, I would go stand in front of my microwave and carry on a conversation with it until my popcorn was done.   Please please please for the love of all that which is holy have a human being answer the phone. 

-Brian

you know this does make me feel a little better. kudos to kas

i will NOT set your office on fire.

Lil - have you tried plain jane, unscented litter?   I have a cat who, for 12 years, pooped right outside the litterbox.  I talked to the vet and he had just talked to a cat psych, and that person said usually it's that the cat doesn't like the brand/type of litter.  They did a study and found the cheap target brand was most preferred, however I haven't gotten to target to try it, but did get some arm and hammer unscented plain litter and OMG.. the cat has pooped in the litter box almost every time!  I also got a storage container that's like 2.5 times the size of a regular litter box for her - and put one type of litter in one and one type in the other and she'll use both, but seems to prefer the cheap one! 

I myself prefer the cheap one, it doesn't stick to my feet nearly as badly as the more expensive brands, and my hands don't get as smelly when I cover up.


Dear Beer,

Why do you treat me the way you do, when you know I love you so? I give you all the attention you want, and I bring you to all the cool parties. I just don't know why you continue to give me headaches. Don't you want us to be together?

Love,
Rando

We've actually tried a bunch of different types of litter - I think that it's just that he prefers tile. I'm very grateful that he will still pee in the box. I'm thinking of trying Feliway - it's mostly to prevent spraying, but it's also supposed to work for stress/grumpiness.

Ah well, fortunately Gabe makes up for it in other ways. Here he is helping me study for my pharmacotherapy/therapeutics course:

(http://a434.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/24/l_d26201897768a3a79178c78bcb41d7b1.jpg)

Thanks Snacks, especially since my "office" is the greater Minneapolis area with a smidge of Wisconsin, Iowa and once Cincinnati.

Bleed, sometimes when I get those automated tellers I just start hitting Zero until an operator picks up.  Like a million times in a row zero.  Sometimes it works.

if its one of those that you have to talk into (I'm talking about YOU XBox support), I just say "Agent" to any question it asks. gets me there eventually

i have to call them all the time for bank payoffs and the DMV and whatnot and i've tried all the tricks in the book and some of them still dont have backdoors.  ive found saying "help" as an answer gets me to an operator who then puts me on hold for 30 mins waiting for another live person who can actually help me

Dear the person whom I was going write this too...

clearly you aren't worth the bother, but you did something that really must have ground my gears, only I can't remember what.
So screw you for pissing me off and then making me forget about it, whilst leaving me with this feeling of piss-ivity.  That's right you made me make up a new word. And I hate making up new words, because then i have to explain thier meanings to people who don't understnad me the first 5 times that I try to get to explain it.

Grr.
-Pissed off and confused.


(this one happens at work all the time, and I don't know how these people function in an English speaking society)
Dear people who can't speak english
When I ask you a question, don't just smile and nod at me.  For instance, when I ask if you have "Flybuys", don't say yes, then hand me money.  Also, when I ask that same question, don't reply with "how much?".  That wasn't what I was saying.  Just freakin' listen to me. It's clear that you live here, as you have a bank account with one of our countries banks.  Don't make me repeat the question 50 times until you realise that I am not stating how much you owe, but asking if you have a rewards card.
Blargh.

PS.  People who make phonecalls while waiting in line to be served are the ultimate in rude! If someone calls you on your cell phone, thats a different matter.  If you make a call, you should be shot.  Also, carrying on a conversation with the people you are with is rude, especially since the transaction does require some interaction with me.  When I ask "How are you?" I would like some sort of response, even if it is just "I'm ok".  You wouldn't appreciate it if I was talking to another staff memeber while I am "serving" you.

Ughh... that drives me nuts, you just want to grab the phone from them and throw it.

I honestly never knew strip clubs patrons were so rude. I give you my utmost respect Ella!

/salute

Randoru is the type of guy that warms the quarters up first before he licks them and sticks them to your ass.  He's a real class act.   I seen it. 

Dear Thrun,

It is classier to wet down a paper towel in your drink of choice and use that to moisten your quarters.  A little thought goes a long way to getting you an exotic dancer's phone number.

Lookin out for you,
Mike

Thanks dude, that would explain why I have only been dating strippers with C-section scars.   

Dear Mike,

If you use your drink then the ice or cool beverage will make the quarter cold again, and will defeat the purpose of warming them up first. Not sure about you, but I've never like having a cold quarter stuck to my ass.

Spreading the rules of stripper tipping,
Rando

I'm just old fashioned I guess, I give 'em a dollar bill and a quick punch in the neck. Strippers still like that right?

We'll have to wait for our resident stripper to answer that one. She usually logs on at night our time I think.

Dear annoying Salesman

Just because you dreamt it doesn't mean it follows the laws of physics or is in any way possible of being created.  Please stop telling me what a great idea it is.  If I could make a perpetual motion device I would be accepting my noble prize not listening to your inane ramblings about psuedo-physics and magic solutions.  I don't care if you sold 10 of them already, not possible is not possible.  You stuck your foot in your mouth.  NOT MY PROBLEM!

Also a million dollar account oppurtunity only comes from a million dollar business.  Joe's local fish and chips tackle supply can't be as important as the Dupont account... I won't focus on your "need" and sacrifice time on a legitamate account!  STOP ASKING MY BOSS WHAT I'M WORKING ON NOW!  He gave that project to the intern.

I'm changing my email address!

Dale

Dear Manufacturing department

The "part doesn't fit" because "the supplier made the wrong one" isn't a design problem.  Engineering isn't responsible for the supplier you chose being a total idiot.  Stop blaming us for why you can't deliver the product this week, it isn't on "engineering hold" it's a quality debit and quarantine.  NO i won't have them reworked out of our budget.  nor will i "see what I can do".  They are fucking wrong, YOU can send them back and order good ones! 

Thanks

Dale

Hip, you must take action or the supply of Real Dolls will dry up!!!


Who chills their cognac nowadays, really!  If I want a cool drink during my Ether Frolics I'll lap at the tears from the ice queen that is delivering my lap dance at that time.

So today, a guy tried to return something he bought 5 years ago..............................................
Words could not express the hatred I felt for having to deal with him.  I had to put up with him for 25 minutes as well.
Hey Kas, I can grab a gun from the back , shoot him and plead self defense, or at least insanity????

Segnam,

Insanity yes, self defense only if he tried to give you a papercut.
Next time try this:
When they come in to return something say "Wow! You bought this 5 years ago? I boned your wife 5 years ago!  What a coincidence! Now get outta here ya douchenozzle."

Dear Guys in posting in this thread

You wish.

Non-Stripper, but about to groin punch you all...
-Allison

Dear Groin Punch,

HOTT!
-Mike

Drivers get taxed on there tips as well as there paychecks so dont give us a hard time when we tell u we cant accept ur check because it bounced more times than ur moms fat rolls and u stiff a driver we get pissed so to avoid a fuck u attitude from him give him one we make less than mininum wage and when ur tight ass can order a pizza but not tip go mkae 3 bean soup its cheaper

PS i work for pizza company as a driver Blackjack :o

Dear Queensland Rail

You suck.  Waiting til the passangers get on a train they think will get them to a particualr destination to announce that the train will infact not be stopping, as there is a problem with the line, is the most idiotic thing I've ever experienced.  You wasted my time, and suggesting that we get stay on the train unitl it stops, change trains to go back to where we wanted to go, is not a viable solution to the problem.  I had to get that train to get to my place of employment.  You made me late, AND I paid for a ticket I didn't get to use.  I had to call someone to come and pick me up from another train station and drive me to work, just so that I could arrive closer to my start time than your solution would have got me there.  Letting people know before they board the train would at least be courtious.

-A pissed off comuter.

Dear Car,

(http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y36/Yarl/l_37ba591edf034fb0ab1d16dde7c62303.jpg)

That pretty well explains it.

p.s. $2400 a year for full coverage with a $500 deductible is absolute fuckshit.

Dear Fuck Buddy,

Please don't text me random vague questions about the condoms I use.  Any and all questions related to contraception should be thoroughly prefaced and explained in writing so as not to give me a heart attack.

Thanks,
Thrun

Next time just leave the wrapper on the floor Thrun so I won't HAVE to text you.

+1

Dear people in this thread that no longer post here.

lol

Love, Nick

--

Dear California in tonight's election.

What the Fuck?

Love, Nick

--

Dear Ohio in tonights election.

I got nothin

Love, Nick.

--

Dear God
Re: Double Rainbow.

What does this mean??

Love, Nick

Dear Nick,

Tits or GTFO

Love,
Bob/Thrun

Dear Bob/Thrun
Re: Tits or GTFO

Please see the enclosed link for said Tits:  NSFW Link (http://xclips.org/wp-content/uploads/milky-big-boobs.jpg)

Love,

Nick

Awesome


edit**
also, I am the only one who bothered to show up today.  Everyone else is working remotely.  I can look at that amazing pair of boobies all morning. 

Dear Glenn Becks,

There was some debate as to how cool you are, but since you just broke the awesome meter with today's show, all doubts have been shattered.



Yours truly,

Edward.

(http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs124.ash2/39546_1441854447647_1271640075_30998567_6062044_n.jpg)

just for any Viking fans out there

they need to fire every coach but the running backs coach and start from scratch

Here is what I would do:

Gruden/Cowher - HC
Brian Billick - OC
John Fox - DC