Letters you would like to write.

[Kastil]

Don't know about you but when I find myself disliking something particularly strongly I feel like sending some message to the person responsible for my state of being just to tell them of the ire that has built within me.  I never get to send these things out mainly cus I'm too lazy to hunt up addresses but here's some letter's that I would love to send to those I hate.

Dear Bosch,
The mounting screws for your DVR's strip easier than your daughters at a Frat party.
Yours truly,
Mike

Dear Rabbit Pull,
I now know where you came up with your name.  Pulling your wire is like pulling a rabbit from a hat... full of other rabbits fucking.
Sincerely,
Mike

Dear Bicyclist,
You're not a car, GTFO.
Kthx,
M

So let's hear it, I'm sure there's things each of you would like to say to someone somewhere. Let it out.  Scream your righteos fury to the Heavens so that it may fall upon the almost deaf ears of the Internet God.

[Garenth]

Dear Bicyclist,
You're not a car, GTFO.
Kthx,
M

Ok have to respond to this as someone that has had rednecks play how close can I get the side mirror to the guy on the bike and seen buddies get side swiped by asshats in cars because they weren't paying attention.

Dear All motorists,

I pay my taxes too so SHARE the road!

Kthxbye

Shane

[Snackcakes]

wait... your name isn't kastil?!! wtf?!11

and my letter..

Dear Tom Seeber,
         I hope your magic can save you when I set your office on fire. Have a nice day.

- Sam

[Reddawn]

Dear Turkley,

My Mom doesn't count as a cougar so stay the fuck away you pervert.

- J to the O to the E to the L

[Hiptotorus]

Dear Free Clinic,

Can I have the "easy Button" persciptions for the "Juggz Mom" epidemic?


KThxBye
<insert random Wolvie name here>

(someone had to go there!)

[Unnormal]

Dear compound W people,
   Please include in your warning label that your product should not be used for genital warts.
Unno

Dear heavenly bakery,
   The cake is a lie.
Unno

Dear amish,
   Grow up.
Unno

P.S. your furniture and produce are always reliable and of the highest quality.

[BCBrent]

Dear Bicyclist,
You're not a car, GTFO.
Kthx,
M

Ok have to respond to this as someone that has had rednecks play how close can I get the side mirror to the guy on the bike and seen buddies get side swiped by asshats in cars because they weren't paying attention.

Dear All motorists,

I pay my taxes too so SHARE the road!

Kthxbye

Shane

I see both sides of this.  If its a crowded road then bikes should avoid them.  Otherwise its fine, albeit a bit annoying.

Speaking of roads.

Dear People Frightened by weather patterns,

The droplets of water forming in the sky?  Thats normal, you don't need to reduce to the speed of a one legged puppy because of it.  Now get off the road kthxbai.

Love,

Nick

Oh and here's a work one because I can

Dear Sir/Madam,

If the concept of finding the start button kicks your butt, you probably shouldn't be in the internet department of your dealership.

Thanks,

Support.

[thrun]

Dear tesseract,

Contemplating you is maddening, please tell my boss to give me more work so I can stop watching Carl Sagan videos.   

Dear bycicle haters,

You have forced me to start listening to The Awakening agian, not that I mind because they are the best thrash/crust band ever and they were from right here in Columbus Ohio. 

http://www.myspace.com/eternalblizzard

[Jim Tressel]

Dear Chowdah,

Not Funny.

- Internet

[Segnam]

Dear customers,

Learn to fucking read.  Its not my job to tell you whats on the menu or how much it is.  Its right there, read the damn thing. 
Also, its not my problem that you left your coupon or whatever at home 2 months ago and want to use it now on the bowflex that you bought but never use you fat fuck.  Now go buy some pants that you are just going to return tomorrow since you are to stupid to buy the right size for yourself.  O, and just try to return that bat that you already took the plastic off.  We only tell you when you buy it to not take it off until you are sure its the right one PLUS there's a big orange sticker that says to not take it off.

Wow that feels great lol.

( I work for a sporting goods store and at an arena managing concessions stands )

[Juggz]

LOL! I love this thread.

[Dracneir]

Dear customers,

There is no such thing as Battletoads for Wii. Stop calling. (Some asshole put this on Youtube and now we get 5-10 calls a week.)

-Stephen

(I work at Gamestop)

[Ziprar]

LOL! I love this thread.

I'm surprised you didn't write "Dear Wolverines, Get off my Mom.  No, seriously."

[Juggz]

LOL! I love this thread.

I'm surprised you didn't write "Dear Wolverines, Get off my Mom.  No, seriously."

LMAO!!!!

[Kastil]

Wunderbar!  Segnam, you would figure people would be more polite to those who work around heavy weights and crossbows and stuff.
As for bicyclists I'm mainly talking about the ones that take up a whole car lane in downtown Minneapolis or a whole lane on roads that are 40 mph+.