Letters you would like to write.

[Kastil]

Dear Thrun,

It is classier to wet down a paper towel in your drink of choice and use that to moisten your quarters.  A little thought goes a long way to getting you an exotic dancer's phone number.

Lookin out for you,
Mike

[thrun]

Dear Thrun,

It is classier to wet down a paper towel in your drink of choice and use that to moisten your quarters.  A little thought goes a long way to getting you an exotic dancer's phone number.

Lookin out for you,
Mike

Thanks dude, that would explain why I have only been dating strippers with C-section scars.   

[Redbear8]

Dear Mike,

If you use your drink then the ice or cool beverage will make the quarter cold again, and will defeat the purpose of warming them up first. Not sure about you, but I've never like having a cold quarter stuck to my ass.

Spreading the rules of stripper tipping,
Rando

[Snackcakes]

I'm just old fashioned I guess, I give 'em a dollar bill and a quick punch in the neck. Strippers still like that right?

[Redbear8]

We'll have to wait for our resident stripper to answer that one. She usually logs on at night our time I think.

[Hiptotorus]

Dear annoying Salesman

Just because you dreamt it doesn't mean it follows the laws of physics or is in any way possible of being created.  Please stop telling me what a great idea it is.  If I could make a perpetual motion device I would be accepting my noble prize not listening to your inane ramblings about psuedo-physics and magic solutions.  I don't care if you sold 10 of them already, not possible is not possible.  You stuck your foot in your mouth.  NOT MY PROBLEM!

Also a million dollar account oppurtunity only comes from a million dollar business.  Joe's local fish and chips tackle supply can't be as important as the Dupont account... I won't focus on your "need" and sacrifice time on a legitamate account!  STOP ASKING MY BOSS WHAT I'M WORKING ON NOW!  He gave that project to the intern.

I'm changing my email address!

Dale

Dear Manufacturing department

The "part doesn't fit" because "the supplier made the wrong one" isn't a design problem.  Engineering isn't responsible for the supplier you chose being a total idiot.  Stop blaming us for why you can't deliver the product this week, it isn't on "engineering hold" it's a quality debit and quarantine.  NO i won't have them reworked out of our budget.  nor will i "see what I can do".  They are fucking wrong, YOU can send them back and order good ones! 

Thanks

Dale

[Kastil]

Hip, you must take action or the supply of Real Dolls will dry up!!!

Dear Mike,

If you use your drink then the ice or cool beverage will make the quarter cold again, and will defeat the purpose of warming them up first. Not sure about you, but I've never like having a cold quarter stuck to my ass.

Spreading the rules of stripper tipping,
Rando

Who chills their cognac nowadays, really!  If I want a cool drink during my Ether Frolics I'll lap at the tears from the ice queen that is delivering my lap dance at that time.

[Segnam]

So today, a guy tried to return something he bought 5 years ago..............................................
Words could not express the hatred I felt for having to deal with him.  I had to put up with him for 25 minutes as well.
Hey Kas, I can grab a gun from the back , shoot him and plead self defense, or at least insanity?

[Kastil]

Segnam,

Insanity yes, self defense only if he tried to give you a papercut.
Next time try this:
When they come in to return something say "Wow! You bought this 5 years ago? I boned your wife 5 years ago!  What a coincidence! Now get outta here ya douchenozzle."

[Ellanorah]

Dear Guys in posting in this thread

You wish.

Non-Stripper, but about to groin punch you all...
-Allison

[Kastil]

Dear Groin Punch,

HOTT!
-Mike

[NCJ III]

Drivers get taxed on there tips as well as there paychecks so dont give us a hard time when we tell u we cant accept ur check because it bounced more times than ur moms fat rolls and u stiff a driver we get pissed so to avoid a fuck u attitude from him give him one we make less than mininum wage and when ur tight ass can order a pizza but not tip go mkae 3 bean soup its cheaper

PS i work for pizza company as a driver Blackjack

[Ellanorah]

Dear Queensland Rail

You suck.  Waiting til the passangers get on a train they think will get them to a particualr destination to announce that the train will infact not be stopping, as there is a problem with the line, is the most idiotic thing I've ever experienced.  You wasted my time, and suggesting that we get stay on the train unitl it stops, change trains to go back to where we wanted to go, is not a viable solution to the problem.  I had to get that train to get to my place of employment.  You made me late, AND I paid for a ticket I didn't get to use.  I had to call someone to come and pick me up from another train station and drive me to work, just so that I could arrive closer to my start time than your solution would have got me there.  Letting people know before they board the train would at least be courtious.

-A pissed off comuter.

[Kastil]

Dear Car,



That pretty well explains it.

p.s. $2400 a year for full coverage with a $500 deductible is absolute fuckshit.

[thrun]

Dear Fuck Buddy,

Please don't text me random vague questions about the condoms I use.  Any and all questions related to contraception should be thoroughly prefaced and explained in writing so as not to give me a heart attack.

Thanks,
Thrun