|
Reddawn
Guest
|
 |
« on: January 08, 2009, 10:39:03 PM » |
|
FADE IN
INT. BATHROOM - POWELL - DAWN
Camera looks down on a large hulking man gingerly sitting down on the toilet.
He tucks in his junk and is ready for battle Iphone in hand.
CAMERA ZOOMS IN ON IPHONE
Large hulking man loads up ESPN to see what kind of nonsense has happened
over night.
CAMERA SWIVELS AROUND TO MANS FACE
A look of pure terror comes across large hulking mans face. He starts to grunt
forcefully. His face turns bright red as he squeezes his eyes closed in immense
pain.
LARGE HULKING MAN
(to himself)
WHAT THE FUCK.....GOD DAMMIT.....THERE IS NO GOD
EXT. HOUSE - POWELL - DAWN
A gigantic scream is heard. The birds fly out of the trees. Lights slowly come on
up and down the road at the torturous roar. The sound of something heavy thuds
dully in the background.
FADE OUT
If you didn't know already I work at a hospital. All of my PC's, Blood Gas Analyzers and ventilators are in the Intensive care units. So I am surrounded by death and disease on a daily basis. No matter how often I was my hands I am constantly sick anymore. For the last week I have been shitting out water like a faucet. I will shit out a gallon of gravy and not 10 minutes later I am evacuating another gallon of toxic waste. Last night I had my fill of it. So I took a couple Immodium in hopes I could form a semi-solid shit.
WRONG.
It was a VERY solid shit and the size of a fist. That's what I felt coming down my rectum. Yes, it damn near killed me. Holy fuck. It was excruciating. I gave birth to Troyer's twin brother. I now know what natural childbirth feels like. I needed an epidural.
I must have pushed that sucker out for a minute. Once it was ejected the sound of my asshole slamming shut I thought was going to shatter the toilet bowl. I am pretty sure concussion rings shot out in all directions like the Death Star in the UPDATED AND MORE AWESOME Star Wars.
What a way to start the day.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Varg
Varg....Varg Vikernes
SW:TOR Officer
Hero Member
Karma: +54/-3
 Offline
Posts: 2161
|
|
« Reply #1 on: January 08, 2009, 10:41:25 PM » |
|
LMAO OMFG . Epic.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
gratefulness you guys for doing what you did so far. It's important bullshit.
|
|
|
Aldoran
WoW Member
Full Member
Karma: +3/-3
Offline
Posts: 186
I Am Aldoran. (sung to Black Sabbath's "Ironman")
|
|
« Reply #2 on: January 08, 2009, 11:25:58 PM » |
|
I
hurt
myself
laughing.
I'm still laughing.
I may have blown a funny fuse.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
|
Redbear8
WoW Member
Hero Member
Karma: +38/-14
Offline
Posts: 2076
where's the honey?
|
|
« Reply #4 on: January 09, 2009, 12:04:21 AM » |
|
WTF...
I understood an Arctic post after only 1 read.
+1 for both of you.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
"To open one's mouth indiscriminately brings shame, and there are many times when people will turn their backs on such a person."
-Yamamoto Tsunetomo
|
|
|
Troyer
\m/ (>.<) \m/
WoW Member
Hero Member
Karma: +47/-12
Offline
Posts: 1103
|
|
« Reply #5 on: January 09, 2009, 01:31:38 AM » |
|
I have a brother!? Can I come visit him?
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind." -Humphrey Bogart
|
|
|
Turkley
Wolverine Core Member - all game access
Hero Member
Karma: +22/-33
Offline
Posts: 1311
Controlled Chaos
|
|
« Reply #6 on: January 09, 2009, 01:32:21 PM » |
|
Damn Red, I figured JT would have stretched you out by now.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Reddawn
Guest
|
|
« Reply #7 on: January 09, 2009, 01:53:54 PM » |
|
I am not a bottom.....
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Snackcakes
GO BUCKS!
WoW Member
Hero Member
Karma: +101/-49
Offline
Posts: 2696
|
|
« Reply #8 on: January 09, 2009, 02:33:36 PM » |
|
 . I have a brother!? Can I come visit him?
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
My faith in you shall never falter again.
|
|
|
Troyer
\m/ (>.<) \m/
WoW Member
Hero Member
Karma: +47/-12
Offline
Posts: 1103
|
|
« Reply #9 on: January 09, 2009, 06:32:01 PM » |
|
Whoa! Red's toilet uses a power supply!!
I guess from the descriptions he does need extra flushing power.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind." -Humphrey Bogart
|
|
|
skeanthu
WoW Member
Full Member
Karma: +6/-3
Offline
Posts: 188
Kimber LPT II
|
|
« Reply #10 on: January 09, 2009, 10:42:53 PM » |
|
You owe me one G15 keyboard.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking.
George S. Patton
|
|
|
Dammit Dan
WoW Member
Sr. Member
Karma: +9/-0
Offline
Posts: 337
|
|
« Reply #11 on: March 02, 2009, 01:02:47 PM » |
|
OMFGROFLMFAOWTF my diaphram will now hurt for weeks i laughed so hard when will i get to hear this in TS during a raid so all of our DPS can be like mine was when I first joined the guild
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
thrun
Metal God
WoW Member
Hero Member
Karma: +135/-13
Offline
Posts: 3147
Starting a protometal band to raise HPV awareness
|
|
« Reply #12 on: March 03, 2009, 02:58:27 AM » |
|
My band and a few other people just ate 300 bucks worth of food and drank a bunch of digestive liquors and san gria at Buca. You should smell what came out of my ass.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
ch0wdah
Guest
|
|
« Reply #13 on: March 03, 2009, 02:36:48 PM » |
|
I still can't believe someone, even Snacks, would attempt to visualize this story. Which may be why I am no artist.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Author
